It seems that in recent years, I am reviewing all of HELLOWEEN‘s discography. At first it was because I loved the band, then it was because I wanted to revisit some albums that didn’t click with me, and now it’s continuing because there were just a few releases that I never bothered with because they were so notoriously bad. Among these albums that, to put it frankly, shit the bed, the most legendary is perhaps “Chameleon,” which came out on May 30th, 1993, via EMI, to utter critical and commercial failure. Today we look back and see if the album is as bad as it was received 30 years ago.
As is the case with many of the classic HELLOWEEN albums that I’ve reviewed, perhaps the history of the album is the most interesting. “Chameleon” is noteworthy for being the last album to feature vocalist Michael Kiske and drummer Ingo Schwichtenberg, as they were fired from the band after the tour. It was also the second album to feature Roland Grapow on guitars. In hindsight, Michael Weikath claimed that the band had been in debt and had hoped that releasing a bit more of a commercial album would help with that. Frankly, it seemed like the band was kind of a mess at this point in time, and old interviews state that if Andi Deris hadn’t been willing to join the band after this release, HELLOWEEN might simply not exist anymore. What’s perhaps even more interesting is that you can’t find “Chameleon” currently on, for example, Spotify. In order for us to recap this release, we had to dig deep into the metal archives.
This was indeed our first experience with this release and it becomes quickly clear that something is off. The production feels strange from the get-go, as despite the rhythm still being quite rockin’ in the first song, “First Time”; the vocals aren’t blended in well with the rest of the band. As well, the basic arpeggio chorus is, frankly, too simple and too familiar. Add then the rock-out ending is way too much. They then turn into an ’80s synthwave band in “Where the Sinner.” The bass stands out for being quite loud, but we found that a bit refreshing, to be fair. This isn’t an awful song, it’s a little funky and the hint of saxophone is nice, but it’s very confusing coming from HELLOWEEN and the chorus doesn’t fit with the rest of it, feeling like an AEROSMITH chorus. There’s another weird outro with the saxophone that aggressively cuts into acoustic guitars with “I Don’t Wanna Cry No More,” which brings the late Tina Turner to mind more than anything. Also, flamenco guitar into an electric guitar solo? Then they go rockabilly with “Crazy Cat,” with more saxophone and murky vocals… truly, nothing is consistent. This one ends with the sound of things dropping, before going into the more rockin’ “Giants,” which is packed with car noises and shredding from the get-go, followed by dreary and uninteresting vocal lines. It’s the heaviest and most HELLOWEEN-sounding by this point, but it’s really uninteresting apart from some parts that stand out but don’t make sense.
Then comes “Windmill,” the only song I knew from beforehand, due to its presence on the “Treasure Chest” best-of album. The song features the creaking of turning windmill blades and a beautiful piano intro that harshly transitions into possibly one of the most embarrassingly bad songs either of us have ever heard, not helped by its nonsensical lyrics. No wonder Roland Grapow called it “Shitmill.” It sounds like something Kermit the Frog would sing in a Muppet movie. It would make Tiny Tim blush, good grief. There’s also a weird sigh as it concludes, as if every song needs something weird at the end. It is truly memorable, in an awful way. It’s one of those songs that you would sing at someone to annoy them.
“Revolution Now” seems to have taken the bass line from “Come Together” by THE BEATLES and added some PEARL JAM flavor, while Kiske sounds like he’d been locked in a cellar during recordings. It’s the most cohesive song thus far, at least until they randomly start singing “San Fransisco” by Scott McKenzie and then go back to grunge. “Into the Night” starts with slow guitar lines and then picks up, sounding a bit like some hippy rock from the ’70s, with some funky moments but again, lacking cohesion due to some weird moments that don’t belong. “Music” sounds a bit like some atmospheric QUEENSRŸCHE, with the guitar lines reeking (in a good way) of Stevie Ray Vaughan‘s influence. “Step Out if Hell” opens with sparkly synths and some fiddly guitar, but is very poppy in moments that detract a bit from the more hard rock, VAN HALEN-y parts.
“I Believe” starts with a rhythm that vaguely invokes the same tempo and vibe of “Powerslave” by IRON MAIDEN, though considerably less interesting. It’s not a terrible track but does last far too long, at over 9 minutes. The album then closes with the half-acoustic/half-melodramatic “Longing,” which combines acoustics with over-the-top orchestrations, a bit like something from a musical.
This album has a weird grab-bag sensation of almost every song feeling like snippets of three different songs mashed together, as if this album had no clear vision whatsoever at any point in its creation, from writing to mixing and mastering. If we’re giving it a generous read, it’s so strange that it keeps you listening out of sheer morbid curiosity. It’s definitely a weird trip into what HELLOWEEN was like in this certain odd and unpleasant space where they didn’t know who they were. It also boasts an impressively awful ballad that could be one of the worst we’ve ever heard. Admittedly, it was pretty fun to give this release a spin for the first time and find ourselves utterly flabbergasted for 71½ minutes (why is it so long, too?!). If there’s anything I dislike, it’s reviewing boring albums that don’t inspire me to say anything, but to its credit, “Chameleon” was, if nothing else, very fun to listen to just to find out why it was so terribly reviewed back in the ’90s.
Written by Bear Wiseman
Tracklist
- First Time
- When the Sinner
- I Don’t Wanna Cry No More
- Crazy Cat
- Giants
- Windmill
- Revolution Now
- In the Night
- Music
- Step Out of Hell
- I Believe
- Longing
Lineup
Michael Kiske – vocals, acoustic guitar
Michael Weikath – guitars
Roland Grapow – guitars
Markus Grosskopf – bass
Ingo Schwichtenberg – drums
